Here are some haiku and tanka, all written since I met Brenda Laurel, reflecting the Now, as I lived through it.
It is is difficultto feel an urgent closenessand to be so far.Dawn brings us new lightit illuminates visionand cold darkness flees.Love, renewed in Spring,is a tantric talisman,the Phoenix rising.Passion and scienceintermingled between uswe'll change the world yet.The swirling passionfunneled through narrow asciiblueness, redness, Love.A windowless roomfilled with hot buckets of bits -that's where I live now.You do not sleep, then unlike the masses around you have awakened.Our love renews me -it confuses the seasons,like flowers in snow.I am well renewed.I needed this time with you.I'll live in that Now.I found a dried rosebetween a books pages...forgotten love's gift.Shaping light and soundto express your dream's intent...that's my love's labor.Ah, i would enjoy rainthe kind of rain that lovershide passion inside.You are binarythere're more possibilitiesthan mere good or bad. I find that I live in midst of interesting times... heart's complexity.I left a small giftso you might blend two perfumesinto Love's prana.Confused by my lovesi understand the wise sagewho left, abruptly.We'll dance like Loversall alone within the crowd...alive, together.Awake in night's darklistening to soft windchimes...wishing for your breath.Waking in night's dark,taut with urgent desire...alone, without you.Ah, well, all i dois string along some wordsno special talent.Struggling to awakeseeing light through closed eyelidsstill parsing sleep's dream.So sad, so wistful...buffeted by emotionsthat come from heart's love.Sky grows clear and cool,and leaves turn color and fall...another year turns.Winter night returns...it's darkness hides my escapeuntil morrow's light.love's not a dutybut it can pain like labor,the works of the heart.Renewed by my Loveas we dance in the clear lightnew songs fill my heart.Windchimes' fractal songmark my lonely departure,gone from the mountain.Sleep has escaped me......winter stars are my solace,no dreams in this night.Alone in this Night...I remember, all alone......no one to talk to.Ill in the bodyand struggling with my soul...soothed by healing love. These waxed wings won't melt they lift me through moonlit Night reaching for the stars... ...Orion's white belt points to the seven Sisters... joined, at my flights end.A quiet morning...dust motes drift through the still air...no voices are heard.There are some mountains -she says they're waiting for us...it's time to go there.Alarmed by Fortune,I asked the Cards what comes next...and read of struggle.I gave her my gift...her joy ripped through me like lightpiercing dark forest.Know the Nine of Wands -battered and unbowed he stands,ready for onslaught.A new year begins...but embedded in realtime,you see only Now.Alone this momentI searched cyberspace for you...finding mere ascii.The dance of the yearspacetime worm it snakes four spacelook - two intertwined. The Wanderer goes, moving lightly and quickly, leaving much behind.A little girl's voicehas left this now quiet place...my heart hears her yet.Love's passion shakes me...there is no indifference,she's captured my heart.rain, and fog, are therein that place where we found love...shown bright by sun's light.well met by modem,fastened by narrow ascii...their minds led their hearts.it rains a gray rainthat hides both sun and moon.walking, i hide too.wandering for love,enticed by the villagers,yet tarrying not.a red hair shines brighton my lonely bed's dark sheets...realtime's memory. Sometimes quiet reigns, we live thoughts that are not words... a stillness of voice. rust gone from your locks... by the color of your hair i know your shy trust alone this moment memories like ocean waves roll through the roninThe memories dancelike dust motes in the still airseen all at once, now. a sudden sadness found me alone in the crowd... unseen, I left.my sudden angerleft me shaking afterwards...i hurt who i love. Reconstituted, now returned from the forest, my Self simplified.waiting for tide's turndark pools exposed by moon's pull...waiting, by the verge. anger's aftermath... quiet, like a blasted stump... blackened, and quiet.i will be here, still;living days quite quietly...alive, in the light.shining clarityuncloaked of heart's darkness - love in the day's light. Dimissed, angrily, I roam dark oceans of thought... wondering, alone. Waiting for tide's turn, dark pools exposed by moon's pull... waiting, at the verge. * * * All thoughts are not words; * thinking so is an error - * misconstructed Self. * * It always escapes... the balance and harmony of living the Good.a soft greeting senton a cool wet fall morningacross planet's curve. Awake in night's storm.. she sleeps quietly by me... wind, rain, love's soft breath.tell me of men's deathessential blue power suitmad bitter weak will. Earth's curve cuts the Moon, showing we live on a ball... what edge cuts my self? old ghosts excite fears best combated by new trust... heart's love found at last.Summer of our livesspent together in the Now...Red, Blue... intertwined.complexity, yes......partly words... much was unsaid,bodies in motion.dark feelings of losstrapped in a maze of sharp thornsmoon-light seen above. Another year flows...memories are left behind,eddies in Time's stream. water, metal, wind softly singing love's lost voice... windchimes in gray rain.shifting sheets of rainshroud far trees like memoriesdimly seen in the Now.bruised ankles in surf...bright baubles pick'd from the Sea...shingle beach, bright blood.waves, in many things...strange seas of love in the Now......souls, in real bodies.ah, a child's sweet lovethe calm acceptance of YOU......there's nothing like it.night slides tiredlyi can't even flirt with sleep.its dreams... different.sunlight, through the haze...the Now, in four elements......the shadows, softened.their sudden meetinghugs colliding in embraceneeds, wants, desires. private poetry a voice for just the one ear words in mere ascii...that's in the past, now;think instead of the new now...make friends, and new love.nothingingness, no thing,no exit from the dark maze,no friendship, no one. windchimes reveal wind - invisible become song. what else is hidden?unregarded sunsetsdo not crowd my memories...this night, like others.Want, need, desire...these are three separate things,among ten thousand. swimming in the sea... ...i decided to return... ...shaking, cold... alive! running on empty... running fast, running away... ...running to the West...I went to the Sea......and found only soft white Fog......memories of Sun.Day of memory......and a simple peasant meal......love's quiet gesture. windchimes reveal wind, fractal songs of Nature's soul... ...the ronin sings, too.only humans diethe real death of death of Voice......Nature's song... endless... restraints can bind wrists habits can restrain freedom what blade cuts habit?practicing haiku,his voice constrained to few words......bright shards of dark thoughts. the ronin cuts deep his apology bleeds dark he cuts yet again warm breath on my back, her sleeping embrace like spoons... ...never had such love.i look and see youeven when you are not hereincomplete, i wait.Time well spent still ends,doing the next thing begins......memories persist. A sleepy old bear blinks at sudden bright white light... ...am I awake yet? happiness eludeslike moonlight seen on a lakethe monkey reaches. songtime like dreamtime suddenly beyond daytime... ...joined voices of heart.prhana... breath... pneuma;fast heartbeats, bathed in salt sweat...rhythms of bodies.sunlight shadow dancetrees cast them through my window...whose shadows are we? the ronin cooks food a simple peasant dinner... ...memories, evokedtraveling small Nowsfamiliar lonely landscapesalone, without her. the sword of no sword... where is the self in the world? ...stillness in the glade.We're Punch and Judy;both halves of the Androgyne......so it's Self abuse!visions of the seamemories of being therein Gaia's embrace his sword for hire another faithless lord left the ronin walks oni heard the whalesongsi was there, in gaia's bloodyou'll hear, too - next time ronin's toothy smile: feelings like scars of old burns pulled taunt by movement - salved by the desert's red rose, her bloom vibrant and alive crabby winter day... nasty teen, broken web... yet... reaching, touching, us a mountain fastnessabove the crazy valleywith her that i love salarymen alone alone in coffeehouse crowd shiny shoes, no job ronin in the glade swift katas slice the still air ...his own opponent sky made by slow dawn dreams are dreams because I woke day leaves night behind marriage and children no mere mountain solitude these noisy people her pain in my arms white light from my heart to her self now her troubled sleep the cup is what pours it is always emptying yet never empty
owls' talk in the night calling across the canyon lonely with you gone
alike as dreamsongs we're different as rain clouds breaking waves of tides
busy days between people work cars computers noise days between our love
an economy? razeroblade handles for free... all buy razorblades
lonely rain and wind awakened from restless dreams your warm embrace missed
abalone hunt we dive for food and beauty sacred blue circle
look over here, now! ...love, like water, enfolds you... may you never thirst
she knew him from dreams the man in the long black coat she knows him from life
evening chatter done your head lies on my shoulder then your sleeping breath
not lost, just foolish love and pain from your dear girl no indifference
soft rain and wind now murmurs on windows and roof voices in the night
the Eyes of the World seeing by Sea Light above, below, here
dark Monday morning mountain fog slides through cold trees sunlight still a dream|
Rain and fog sunset making a lonely fire she is far away
dreams fade into this she softly snores next to me rain murmurs on roof
seeing with lightness gaze cast forth into the world then, now, and again
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