Here are some haiku and tanka, all written since I met Brenda Laurel, reflecting the Now, as I lived through it.

It is is difficult
to feel an urgent closeness
and to be so far.

Dawn brings us new light
it illuminates vision
and cold darkness flees.

Love, renewed in Spring,
is a tantric talisman,
the Phoenix rising.

Passion and science
intermingled between us
we'll change the world yet.

The swirling passion
funneled through narrow ascii
blueness, redness, Love.

A windowless room
filled with hot buckets of bits -
that's where I live now.

You do not sleep, then 
unlike the masses around 
you have awakened.

Our love renews me -
it confuses the seasons,
like flowers in snow.

I am well renewed.
I needed this time with you.
I'll live in that Now.

I found a dried rose
between a books pages...
forgotten love's gift.

Shaping light and sound
to express your dream's intent...
that's my love's labor.

Ah, i would enjoy rain
the kind of rain that lovers
hide passion inside.

You are binary
there're more possibilities
than mere good or bad.

                                        I find that I live
                                        in midst of interesting times...
                                        heart's complexity.

I left a small gift
so you might blend two perfumes
into Love's prana.

Confused by my loves
i understand the wise sage
who left, abruptly.

We'll dance like Lovers
all alone within the crowd...
alive, together.

Awake in night's dark
listening to soft windchimes...
wishing for your breath.

Waking in night's dark,
taut with urgent desire...
alone, without you.

Ah, well, all i do
is string along some words
no special talent.

Struggling to awake
seeing light through closed eyelids
still parsing sleep's dream.

So sad, so wistful...
buffeted by emotions
that come from heart's love.

Sky grows clear and cool,
and leaves turn color and fall...
another year turns.

Winter night returns...
it's darkness hides my escape
until morrow's light.

love's not a duty
but it can pain like labor,
the works of the heart.

Renewed by my Love
as we dance in the clear light
new songs fill my heart.

Windchimes' fractal song
mark my lonely departure,
gone from the mountain.

Sleep has escaped me...
...winter stars are my solace,
no dreams in this night.

Alone in this Night...
I remember, all alone...
...no one to talk to.

Ill in the body
and struggling with my soul...
soothed by healing love.


                             These waxed wings won't melt
                             they lift me through moonlit Night
                             reaching for the stars...

                             ...Orion's white belt
                             points to the seven Sisters...
                             joined, at my flights end.



A quiet morning...
dust motes drift through the still air...
no voices are heard.

There are some mountains -
she says they're waiting for us...
it's time to go there.

Alarmed by Fortune,
I asked the Cards what comes next...
and read of struggle.

I gave her my gift...
her joy ripped through me like light
piercing dark forest.

Know the Nine of Wands -
battered and unbowed he stands,
ready for onslaught.

A new year begins...
but embedded in realtime,
you see only Now.

Alone this moment
I searched cyberspace for you...
finding mere ascii.

The dance of the year
spacetime worm it snakes four space
look - two intertwined.

  

                        The Wanderer goes,
                        moving lightly and quickly,
                        leaving much behind.



A little girl's voice
has left this now quiet place...
my heart hears her yet.

Love's passion shakes me...
there is no indifference,
she's captured my heart.

rain, and fog, are there
in that place where we found love...
shown bright by sun's light.

well met by modem,
fastened by narrow ascii...
their minds led their hearts.

it rains a gray rain
that hides both sun and moon.
walking, i hide too.

wandering for love,
enticed by the villagers,
yet tarrying not.

a red hair shines bright
on my lonely bed's dark sheets...
realtime's memory.


      Sometimes quiet reigns,
      we live thoughts that are not words...
      a stillness of voice.


    rust gone from your locks...
    by the color of your hair
    i know your shy trust

                             alone this moment
                             memories like ocean waves
                             roll through the ronin

The memories dance
like dust motes in the still air
seen all at once, now.

                            a sudden sadness
                            found me alone in the crowd...
                            unseen, I left.

my sudden anger
left me shaking afterwards...
i hurt who i love.

                             Reconstituted,
                             now returned from the forest,
                             my Self simplified.

waiting for tide's turn
dark pools exposed by moon's pull...
waiting, by the verge.

        anger's aftermath...
        quiet, like a blasted stump...
        blackened, and quiet.



i will be here, still;
living days quite quietly...
alive, in the light.

shining clarity
uncloaked of heart's darkness -     
love in the day's light.

                            Dimissed, angrily,
                            I roam dark oceans of thought...
                            wondering, alone.

                            Waiting for tide's turn,
                            dark pools exposed by moon's pull...
                            waiting, at the verge.


                    *
                    *
                    * All thoughts are not words;
                    * thinking so is an error -
                    * misconstructed Self.
                    *
                    *


                            It always escapes...
                            the balance and harmony
                            of living the Good.
a soft greeting sent
on a cool wet fall morning
across planet's curve.


                            Awake in night's storm..
                            she sleeps quietly by me...
                            wind, rain, love's soft breath.

tell me of men's death
essential blue power suit
mad bitter weak will.

                Earth's curve cuts the Moon,
                showing we live on a ball...
                what edge cuts my self?



        old ghosts excite fears
        best combated by new trust...
        heart's love found at last.


Summer of our lives
spent together in the Now...
Red, Blue... intertwined.


complexity, yes...
...partly words... much was unsaid,
bodies in motion.


dark feelings of loss
trapped in a maze of sharp thorns
moon-light seen above.

 
Another year flows...
memories are left behind,
eddies in Time's stream.

                                water, metal, wind
                                softly singing love's lost voice...
                                windchimes in gray rain.

shifting sheets of rain
shroud far trees like memories
dimly seen in the Now.

bruised ankles in surf...
bright baubles pick'd from the Sea...
shingle beach, bright blood.

waves, in many things...
strange seas of love in the Now...
...souls, in real bodies.

ah, a child's sweet love
the calm acceptance of YOU...
...there's nothing like it.

night slides tiredly
i can't even flirt with sleep.
its dreams... different.

sunlight, through the haze...
the Now, in four elements...
...the shadows, softened.

their sudden meeting
hugs colliding in embrace
needs, wants, desires.

      private poetry
      a voice for just the one ear
      words in mere ascii

...that's in the past, now;
think instead of the new now...
make friends, and new love.

nothingingness, no thing,
no exit from the dark maze,
no friendship, no one.

                windchimes reveal wind -
                invisible become song.
                what else is hidden?

unregarded sunsets
do not crowd my memories...
this night, like others.

Want, need, desire...
these are three separate things,
among ten thousand.

        swimming in the sea...
        ...i decided to return...
        ...shaking, cold... alive!


                        running on empty...
                        running fast, running away...
                        ...running to the West...


I went to the Sea...
...and found only soft white Fog...
...memories of Sun.


Day of memory...
...and a simple peasant meal...
...love's quiet gesture.

        windchimes reveal wind,
        fractal songs of Nature's soul...
        ...the ronin sings, too.

only humans die
the real death of death of Voice...
...Nature's song... endless...

                                                restraints can bind wrists
                                                habits can restrain freedom
                                                what blade cuts habit?

practicing haiku,
his voice constrained to few words...
...bright shards of dark thoughts.

                        
         the ronin cuts deep
         his apology bleeds dark
         he cuts yet again

                                warm breath on my back,
                                her sleeping embrace like spoons...
                                ...never had such love.


i look and see you
even when you are not here
incomplete, i wait.


Time well spent still ends,
doing the next thing begins...
...memories persist.

        A sleepy old bear
        blinks at sudden bright white light...
        ...am I awake yet? 

happiness eludes
like moonlight seen on a lake
the monkey reaches.


      songtime like dreamtime
      suddenly beyond daytime...
      ...joined voices of heart.


prhana... breath... pneuma;
fast heartbeats, bathed in salt sweat...
rhythms of bodies.

sunlight shadow dance
trees cast them through my window
...whose shadows are we?   

        the ronin cooks food
        a simple peasant dinner...
        ...memories, evoked

traveling small Nows
familiar lonely landscapes
alone, without her.

        the sword of no sword...
        where is the self in the world?
        ...stillness in the glade.


We're Punch and Judy;
both halves of the Androgyne...
...so it's Self abuse!

visions of the sea
memories of being there
in Gaia's embrace

      his sword for hire
      another faithless lord left
      the ronin walks on

i heard the whalesongs
i was there, in gaia's blood
you'll hear, too - next time 


                          ronin's toothy smile:
                    feelings like scars of old burns
                          pulled taunt by movement -
                    salved by the desert's red rose,
                    her bloom vibrant and alive

      crabby winter day...
      nasty teen, broken web... yet...
      reaching, touching, us

                    
a mountain fastness
above the crazy valley
with her that i love


          salarymen alone
          alone in coffeehouse crowd
          shiny shoes, no job

ronin in the glade
swift katas slice the still air
...his own opponent

sky made by slow dawn
dreams are dreams because I woke
day leaves night behind

        marriage and children
        no mere mountain solitude
        these noisy people

                      her pain in my arms
                      white light from my heart to her self
                      now her troubled sleep 

							
the cup is what pours
it is always emptying
yet never empty

owls' talk in the night
calling across the canyon
lonely with you gone

        alike as dreamsongs
        we're different as rain clouds
        breaking waves of tides

busy days between
people work cars computers noise
days between our love

an economy?
razeroblade handles for free...
all buy razorblades

    lonely rain and wind
    awakened from restless dreams
    your warm embrace missed

abalone hunt
we dive for food and beauty
sacred blue circle

look over here, now!
...love, like water, enfolds you...
may you never thirst

        she knew him from dreams
        the man in the long black coat
        she knows him from life

evening chatter done
your head lies on my shoulder
then your sleeping breath

                                        not lost, just foolish
                                        love and pain from your dear girl
                                        no indifference

soft rain and wind now
murmurs on windows and roof
voices in the night

the Eyes of the World
seeing by Sea Light
above, below, here